Tools To Lift The Grief During The Holidays for yourself or a loved one

May be an image of person, baby and standing

My daughter just had her first baby, my first born  granddaughter Samira Sage. Oh how I find myself feeling so deeply how I wish Bob was here to meet his great granddaughter.. I’m journaling more and talking to my sweet granddaughter about him.

As a Emotional Wellness Coach, I work with adults, kids and teens who are experiencing higher levels of feeling grief after a sudden or unexpected loss of:

✅A pet



✅Going through a divorce

✅Loss of a family member  etc.

✅Feelings of shock, anxiety, distress, periods of sadness, loss of sleep and appetite, loneliness, confused of the mixed emotions etc.

For kids, teens and young adults they may experience significant changes in sleep, increase isolation, and more irritable. Looking for ways to bury emotions and check out, this may be by keeping busy, emotional eating, engaging in more TV time or technology.

Although it may feel good for a temporary time pushing away emotions, it only comes back stronger and harder to manage in healthier ways and that is why I have been helping my clients practice emotional intelligence more than ever during the holidays.

To Feel and honor all the emotions head on, even the unpleasant ones with self-compassion and no judgement. We have been doing so through journaling with sharing amazing journal prompts to help us feel the emotions and express what is on our hearts.

Emotional freedom technique (tapping) together, creating a personalized tapping script for them to use as well as one we do together. Creating a save vulnerable space to talk about our amazing memories we had with our loved ones. Lots of laughs and tears as all emotions are welcome.

Research shows grieving process takes time, common to take a year, and with complicated grief symptoms can be past 3 years. So please be compassionate with yourself and loved ones.

Therapy, emotional wellness coaching, EFT, support groups is helpful as we all cope with loss in our own way. Please know you don’t need to be alone, together is better.

It’s why I wanted to share some amazing resources to help with grieving everyday but especially during the holidays.

Here’s some amazing resources to help with grieving during the holidays

By Elizabeth Koth From Elevate Counseling who shares what helped when losing her father.

If you’re grieving:

  1. Think about your own self-care through the holidays. Exercise, read, meditate, get a massage, take lots of deep breaths. And, by all means cry if you feel like crying. Letting the tears fall can be very therapeutic.
  2. Think about the loved one you’re grieving. Carry on some of the holiday traditions you may have had with them. Let their memory live on that way. Let family members or friends know what traditions you want to keep and some new ones you may want to start.
  3. Remember that it is okay to enjoy the holidays without your special person, too. It doesn’t erase the fact that they aren’t there, of course. Holiday grief can be a blend of wanting things to be what they once were when your loved one was alive, but also trying not to miss out on what is happening right now.

If you know someone who is grieving:

  1. Resist the urge to “cheer someone up”. While your intentions are pure, unconditional care is probably more what your friend or family member needs.
  2. Don’t shy away from their grief. Privately acknowledging that they may be hurting a little extra during the holidays will likely mean more than you know. Giving them a safe and compassionate space to talk about their special person shows great care.
  3. Invite your grieving friend to celebrate the holidays with you. Give them the freedom to decline. Also give them the freedom to accept the invitation and change their mind later. Grief can be tricky that way. What you feel you can or want to do one minute may change the next. Be flexible with your grieving friend/family member.

The Ocean Metaphor

Grief comes in waves, some waves slam you underwater, there is turbulence, uncertainty, fear, and the depths can feel bottomless. Other waves are rolling. Calm and subtle. We may not even feel them when they hit. Over time, we can learn to ride the waves, accepting them as they come and being thankful to have experienced the ocean.

Resources To Support Yourself or loved one:

The Mourners Bill Of Rights:

What’s your grief:

Billys Place: NW Phoenix:

Helping kids and teens:

Podcast: Tapping Solutions with Alex Ortner, On Purpose with Jay Shetty, Fun Therapy with Mike Foster all have amazing resources and tools for strength and healing

Please share any books, quotes, tools, podcast, journal prompts, songs, things someone has done for you etc. on grief that  has helped you.

I am always wanting share new and more resources with my clients and emotional wellness community. Click reply and share with me. 

Sending love and healing your way


Tabatha Marden

Emotional Wellness + Leadership Coach

Tabatha Marden